OTBS, I Am Now A Member Of The Fellowship
by Love Your Shotgun
Summary: On the Bright Side I am Now a Member of the Fellowship... Gee LOTR crossover! Red-bottomosity ensues!
1. Movies with Robbie!

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I AM NOW A MEMBER OF THE FELLOWSHIP  
  
By: Jess  
  
***  
  
Dude, I have some serious issues. I am writing a Georgia Nicolson/ LotR crossover. Georgia Nicolson is sucked right into LotR and joins the Fellowship! Mayhem and red-bottomosity ensues!!!! Dun Dun DUN!!! I really have too much time on my hands!!! ^_^ Hillary, you should enjoy this.   
  
This story is going to be in 1st person, in Georgia's diary like the "Confessions of Georgia Nicolson" (the most fabbity fab fab series ever). If you haven't read the books, GO AND READ THEM NOW NOW NOW!!! THEY ARE THE FUNNIEST STORIES I HAVE EVER READ! Go read now now now. Georgia is HILARIOUS! It's almost scary how alike she and I are... *shifty eyes*  
  
R & R!!! Flames will be used to burn down your houses and lives! Thanks a bunch! ^_^  
  
A/N: I know some of the timing is off, like Lotr coming out in September instead of December, but for the sake of the story, live with it.  
  
Disclaimer: Georgia and her georgy chums belong to the genius, Louise Rennison. LotR is owned by the greatest man to ever live, J.R.R. Tolkien. HUZZAH FOR BRITISH AUTHORS!!!  
  
***  
  
sunday september 6  
  
10:00 am  
  
in my bedroom  
  
Bloody hell, double poo and merde! Stalag 14 starts tomorrow! If I have to sit near Nauseating P. Green again this year I will surely commit suicide. Why does she follow me around with those goggly glasses of hers and those pictures of her Hammy hamster? Oh Christ on a bike, I will surely die if I have Hawkeye for form. Erlack!  
  
11:15 am  
  
Vati called me from downstairs. "Georgia, there's someone on the phone for you! Sounds like a boy!"  
  
But it wasn't a BOY. It was a full-grown and extremely fit Sex God!!!  
  
"Hey, Georgia!"  
  
"Ngnnnh... Hi, Robbie."  
  
"I was wondering if you're not too busy on Saturday that we could go see a film? We could double with Tom and Jas."  
  
Now would be an excellent time to say, 'Of course, my fit Sex God. Anything to get a chance for snogging with you.' But instead it came out something like, "Ynnok."  
  
"Georgia?" Robbie sounded really concerned. I could have just died right there. His smooth, sexy voice made me go completely jelliod.  
  
"Oh. I said, 'Of course, I'd love to go.'"  
  
"Great. I'll see you later, then."  
  
Oh bullocks! What in the name of pantyhose will I wear???  
  
See you later. What does that mean? SHUT UP BRAIN!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!  
  
noon  
  
Phoned Jas.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Bonjour, mon amie. Ici Georgia."  
  
"Bonjour Georgia. Ca va?"  
  
"Pas mal. Jas, I have a major clothes emergency. I need to go shopping before Saturday to get a tres sophisticated outfit for the movies with Robbie."  
  
"Tom, my mum says you can't have any of that cake! She's saving it for later! Oh, Sorry, Georgia. Tom's trying to eat some of mum's cake she's saving for dinner."  
  
Cheers, Jas. Thanks a lot. I may as well be talking to Libby's scuba-diving Barbie. At least she won't talk to me about her boyfriend who loves vegetables as much as her. She'll listen to me talk about my amazing Sex God boyfriend, Robbie, and how we are meant to be. And she will say, 'Yes Georgia, O Wonderful One. You and Robbie are a match made in Heaven and no Wet Lindsay could ever come between your true jelliod Sex God love.'   
  
Erlack! Shut up brain! Shut up!  
  
monday september 7  
  
7:15 am  
  
in my bedroom  
  
getting ready for school  
  
I woke up extra early to get on the right amount of makeup and lippy in case we ran into some Foxwood lads and Dave the L. Wait... how can I honestly think about Dave when I am the girlfriend of a Sex God? Dave is quite a good snogger, though. He always does that nip libbling thing that I've taken quite a fancy to... SHUT UP BRAIN SHUT UP!  
  
break  
  
at school  
  
I am now committing suicide. Hawkeye is my form teacher, none of the ace gang is in form, and I'm forced to sit next to P. Green with her goggly fish-eyed glasses.   
  
At the beginning of break, we couldn't find Jools. The ace gang and I were walking around the school yard looking for that silly cow. She was sitting on the front steps, and you'll never guess what she was doing! If you guessed applying some lippy or flirting with the passing by Foxwood lads that skipped, you're wrong. She was READING!!! Bloody reading! While we would be terrorizing Elvis or chatting about my Sex God boyfriend! She was reading!!! I ran up to her and pulled the book out of her hands.  
  
I looked her straight in the eye and screamed, "Jools, what in the name of pantyhose are you doing? Reading?! Are you mad?"  
  
"No! Now give me back my bloody book! It's really good!"  
  
"Jools, focus here. We're your friends! You'd rather read some silly book than talk to your friends?"  
  
"No, it's just this book is so bloody good you can't put it down! I'm scaring myself because I haven't stopped reading since August!"  
  
Jas looked at the cover. "'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King'?"  
  
"Oh, my mum read that," Rosie said. "She said it was really good. Did that Tolkien chap write it?"  
  
"Yeah," Jools said. "It's a trilogy about this evil ring and this hobbit that goes to destroy it. This is the last book."  
  
Hobbit? Evil ring? If I didn't know better I'd think Jools was from the Plant Loon like Mutti and Vati.  
  
"What are you talking about???"   
  
Jools decided to explain. "The story takes place in Middle Earth, a fantasy world made up by Tolkien. There were these three rings given to the Elves, seven rings for the Dwarves, and nine for Men. Then an evil bloke called Sauron made this one ring for himself and it gave him the power to rule Middle Earth."  
  
We spent the rest of our break time listening to Jools tell us about "Lord of the Rings". It was actually quite interesting. Hobbits sound a whole lot like us. They drink, eat, drink some more, party, eat some more, drink more, party a lot more, etc. etc., then they sleep, wake up, and do it all over again.  
  
Sounds like Uncle Eddie. Except Hobbits have big, hairy feet, and don't loose their hair. Also they don't walk around in tight leather pants and jackets trying to feel like they're still a "lad" as he puts it. But I have more important things to worry about. Like my date with the Sex God.  
  
***  
  
Soooo? Luv it? Loathe it? REVIEW!!!  
  
~*~Jess~*~ 


	2. Hobbits and Elves and Dwarves, Oh my!

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I AM NOW A MEMBER OF THE FELLOWSHIP  
  
By: Jess  
  
***  
  
thursday september 9  
  
7:30 pm  
  
in my bedroom  
  
listening to records  
  
Finally I went shopping for clothes!!! I got a black halter and some tight black jeans. V. sophis., but not too dressy. Somehow I payed for it all with a few measly fivers El Beardo gave me. I tried on the outfit, and I looked quite cool. I started pouting and making faces in the mirror, but then realized I was acting like Jas. Bloody hell. Buddha, help me!  
  
Libby just left after jumping on my bed screaming "Winnie bag pool, Winnie bag pool..." over and over again. Angus is the only half sane living thing around here.  
  
7:45 pm  
  
Dave phoned.  
  
"Hello, gorgeous."  
  
"Hey Dave."  
  
"Quite nippy noodles out, isn't it?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Hey, I was wondering if you'd read 'Lord of the Rings'? I ran into Jools today and she had her nose in that book. Is it any good?"  
  
"No. Haven't tried. Jools me and the gang about it today during break. It sounds quite cool, actually. It's about a Ring, a Dark Lord, and something about the end of Middle Earth. And the crap that was going on during World War II."  
  
Why do I always say, 'I'm not going to talk to Dave anymore.', yet somehow I always do? Is my red bottom showing that much? Bloody Cosmic Horn. I fancy two guys! One who gives me jelliodosity, and the other, hilariosity. Why can't I bloody choose?   
  
Dave and I chatted about what little we knew about the story, like Hobbits and Elves and Dwarves (A/N: Oh my!) and a Wizard with a pointy hat Jools told him about called Gandalf.  
  
"He's not related to Merlin is he?" I asked.  
  
"Not that I know of. Maybe we should crash one of their family reunions, eh?"  
  
Then, Vati came in, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Georgia, how much time do you need to spend on that bloody thing? You've been on it for twenty minutes! How much longer do you need to talk to your friends? Can't you meet up somewhere and stop wasting our bloody money?"  
  
Honestly, parents can be so over dramatic.  
  
"Sorry, but the Loon Leader says I'm wasting the money him and Mutti could be spending on drinks at a bar. Bye."  
  
"I'll see you later then."  
  
See you later. What DOES it mean???  
  
saturday september 11  
  
6:00 pm  
  
in my bedroom  
  
Putting on the finishing touches of my makeup, then I'm out the door to meet up with Jas at her house. There, we will wait for Hunky and the SG to come pick us up. This is going to be absolutely fab! A dark theater with Robbie, a perfect chance for some number 7 snogging! I'm grinning like a loon right now. I can't wait!   
  
6:15 pm  
  
in Jas's room  
  
helping her with makeup  
  
"Jas come on! Your mum said they got here five bloody minutes ago! We're going to be late for the movie!"  
  
"No we won't, Georgia!"  
  
6:50 pm  
  
Guess what? We were late for the movie. Thank Buddha Tom had a friend that could sneak us into the theater without getting caught. Cheers, Tom! And guess who else was there? Jools and her mum! I didn't go up to her, as I was with my georgy Sex God boyfriend.  
  
Jas and I went and got us some refreshments, and for a quick lippy check (incase of a snog attack) during the previews.  
  
"Tom, what movie are we seeing?" Robbie asked when "Feature Presentation" popped up on the screen after the dancing popcorn and cola.  
  
"I don't know. It's called 'Lord of the Rings' or something. It got good reviews in the paper, so I guess it's worth watching."  
  
Oh, gods. They made a movie of it too? I can't believe it! I saw Jools get all excited when we heard this odd music with some people singing in hushed voices about the song. Then you could hear a lady's voice.  
  
"*I amar prestar aen. The world is changed. Han mathon ne nen. I feel it in the waters. Han mathon ne chae. I feel it in the earth. A han noston ned 'wilith. I smell it in the air. Much that once was, is lost. For none now live who remember it.*"  
  
What in the name of pantyhose was she talking about? And what language was she speaking before?  
  
Then the title, "The Lord of the Rings" popped up on screen.  
  
There was a battle sequence, then there was a cave. In the cave was this really scary looking bloke who talked like Donald Duck with pneumonia. His eyes were all yellow and he was scrawny and icky looking.  
  
"What the bloody hell is that?" Robbie asked me in that deep, sexy voice of his.  
  
"Unngh." That was all that came out. Bloody hell he always makes me go all jelliod with that Sex God voice of his.  
  
"*That was good.*"   
  
"*Let's get another one!.*"  
  
Those two Hobbits were so cute! Jas and I both looked at each other with "How sweet!" looks we would give Libby when she was small and didn't poop and pee in her little secret places in my room.  
  
7:30 pm  
  
There's a good-looking bloke now, with blond hair. As fit as Robbie! Bloody gorgeous!  
  
10:00 pm   
  
in the car  
  
on our way home  
  
Bloody hell!!! That was the longest movie ever! That elf bloke (Legolas was his name. What an odd name) didn't say much, he labled things and shot Orcs (which are absolutely the most disgusting creatures ever! I wonder if Wet Lindsay is related to them?).   
  
In the end, when that rough looking "Boromir" chap died and Frodo goes off but Sam comes with him, Jas and I started blubbering. Then we hugged each other and looked like two blubbering whatsits in the theater next to our boyfriends. I tried to stop, knowing Robbie saw me, but it was so bloody sad! Sam was so loyal and brave for such a small (ish) bloke. And Merry and Pippin! They got taken away by the Wet Ones's relatives! I shall have to hurt her for letting her evil cousins kidnap such sweet, innocent, and tres adorable blokes with cute (ish) hairy feet.  
  
When the movie ended, Jas got up and screamed through her blubbering, "What? That's it? No more? Come on!" But Tom calmed her down, telling her there it was a trilogy and there would be two more movies coming out each year around the same time.  
  
Robbie walked me to my door, holding my hand.   
  
"Thanks, Robbie. I had fun. Great movie."  
  
"Me too. That was a good movie, wasn't it? Bloody long though."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Bye the way, you look gorgeous."  
  
Oh gods. I could've died. I blushed and simply said, "Thanks." Wait. Since when could Robbie give me a nice compliment and have me not go completely jelliod?  
  
"Well, good night, Georgia."  
  
He leaned in and we did some number 6 snogging for about three minutes before he left. Bloody hell, can he kiss! It was just like Arwen and Aragorn on the bridge in Riven-whatsit. (Me being Arwen, Robbie being Aragorn. We're not transsexuals. ERLACK! SHUT UP BRAIN!) Talking in Elvish, confessing oaths of love and mortality, then snogging 'til the sun comes up.   
  
Once he left I went up to room, but not before being "greeted" by Angus. I loved that furry ball of... fur. Mutti and Vati were asleep as usual, not around to greet their First Born Child who they loved with all their hearts.  
  
I wasn't in my bed for more than two minutes when Libby and her little chums came into my room, leaving me with a mere millimeter of space to sleep on. Honestly, why can't Libby sleep in her own bloody bed? Angus I don't mind, since he leaves me with at least half the bed, but Libby and scuba-diving Barbie and company leave me with zilch space in my own bed! I eventually fell asleep, like I always do.  
  
***  
  
Da Da. All done, luvies!   
  
~*~REVIEW REPLIES~*~:  
  
*Hott4Orlando*- Rock on Louise Rennison!!!! Oh yeah. ^_^ No romance with Gee and Leggsy... just Horns and Red-bottomosity!!!  
  
*Dreamality*- Thankies! I have no idea where I came up with this! I might do a PotC one too!!! ^_^  
  
*Pirate'sRedWinter*- Georgia Nicolson rules all!!!!  
  
*Isabelle Depp*- Jess is NOT JEALOUS!!! ^_^  
  
*songbird142*- Thankies for the review! That's like a huge compliment for me that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Muffins 2 ya! *gives you banana-nut muffin* Eat up! Yeah, I haven't read the books in a while, so I'm kinda rusty on my phrases! Thanks for tellin' me! I appreciate it! ^_^  
  
*Divine-Bovines*- Luv your screen name! Thankies!  
  
*Weasel*- DUn Dun!!! The world is ending!!! ^_^  
  
*Shivvers*- Luved your ficcy, what can I say? R u gonna update that? It was fabbity-fab-fab! LotR, PotC, and Gee are what I live for!!!! ^_^  
  
I luv u all!!! Thanks for the reviews!!!  
  
~*~Jess~*~ 


	3. Fit Looking Elves Galore!

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I AM NOW A MEMBER OF THE FELLOWSHIP  
  
By: Jess  
  
***  
  
Another insane chapter in my odd little story!!! Thankies to those of you who reviewed!!!! I know my Georgia lingo needs some serious work, but don't be mean cuz I wrote the first two chappys at my dad's house where I am Georgia Nicolson- less. Now, on with the story!  
  
***  
  
When I woke up, I was face to face with the bright bright sun, which usually never happened since my bed didn't face my windows and my curtains were always drawn. I opened my eyes, and screamed. I wasn't in my room anymore. I was in some completely different room, overlooking a forest and a river with a tiny bridge. Why was I here? Was my 15 years of life just a dream and I'm actually a princess in some far away land?   
  
A woman came rushing into my room. Apparently, she heard me screaming. But then again who didn't?  
  
"Are you alright, milady?" the woman asked.  
  
I shrieked and threw a pillow at her. "BLOODY HELL! WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE AM I???"  
  
She dodged my pillow bombs while saying, "You're in Rivendell, in the House of Elrond. You were found by one of his son, Elladen, lying in the forest. You've been unconscious for about four days."  
  
"WHAT? RIVENDELL??? ARE YOU MAD? RIVENDELL ISN'T REAL??? IT'S FAKE!!! IT'S IN THAT MOVIE I SAW WITH ROBBIE AND TOM AND JAS!!! YOU'RE MAD, WOMAN! YOU'RE--" I stopped shouting. I looked at her ears which were no longer hidden behind her really long hair. Her ears!!! Oh Buddha, help! They were pointed!!!  
  
For the second time that day, I screamed. Then I passes out. Again.  
  
the same day when i woke up... i think  
  
afternoon i suppose  
  
same room  
  
When I opened my eyes, I saw a man with long brown hair and gray eyes. He was wearing some reddish dress. Like a toga or something. There was an odd looking crown on his head. Like one of those crowns of flowers you make, but it was made out of some shiny metal. Actually, he was shining. Like some type of aura- whatsit or something. He was quite a fit-looking bloke considering the fact he was dressed somewhat feminine. He looked like a more mature version of Robbie. Except he had pointy ears.  
  
"Please tell me I'm not in Middle Earth?" I pleaded to him.  
  
"Yes, you are, milady. You're in Rivendell, in the House of Elrond Halfelven. I am his son, Elladen. I found you and brought you here."  
  
"Bloody hell. Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, I am. You seem to be having trouble absorbing all this information. Who are you, milady?"  
  
"G-Georgia Nicolson."  
  
"Well let me be the first to welcome you to Rivendell, Lady Georgia Nicolson."  
  
"There's got to be some mistake. I don't belong here. Middle Earth is... a fantasy world. There's no real way I can be here, is there?"  
  
"I am sure there is not a mistake, for Middle Earth is very much real, unless both you and I are not real as well."  
  
I was speechless. He WAS right after all. Bullocks I hate in when people are right and I'm wrong.  
  
"How in the name of pantyhose did I get here?"  
  
Ell-whatsit looked at me like I was a loon on loon tablets. Yeah, well I'm not the one who's wearing a dress and has long hair, elf boy. Put that in your hair and brush it.  
  
"Pantyhose?" he questioned.  
  
I rolled my eyes. Some people... "Forget the bloody pantyhose. How'd I get here?"  
  
"I am not sure how you arrived in Rivendell, or in Middle Earth for that matter, since you are obviously not from here. I was off riding in the woods surrounding my home, when I saw you lying unconscious on the ground, so I brought you here." He stood up to leave. "I shall send in Vanya to help you change. My father greatly wishes to speak to you."  
  
Now it was my turn to give him a "What in Mr. Next Door's huge knickers are you talking about?" look. "What? Someone to help me change?! Are you daft? I'm not lesbian! I don't need some complete stranger coming in here to see my basoomas!"  
  
Mr. Fit Elf sighed. "Then I shall ask her to only bring in a change of clothes then, Lady Georgia."  
  
"What's wrong with what I have on?"  
  
Then I remembered. I'm wearing Teletubby jimjams. For Baby Jesus's sake! How come whenever there's an extremely fit looking bloke around I have to be wearing my Teletubby jimjams?  
  
"Forget it," I told Elf Boy.  
  
"I'll send someone for to escort you to the dining hall in about an hour. Good day."  
  
"Um... yes. Good day to you as well."  
  
4:00 pm as Vanya told me  
  
in my new bedroom  
  
changing  
  
I looked at three of the eight dresses Vanya brought in. One is green, another red, the last one was a light burgundy, like what Ella-whatever had on. I guess they don't know about the color black and how mature and sophis. you can look in it. Oh well. I decided on the green one. I looked quite good in it, if I do say so myself. It even hid my racehorse elbows, as Dr. George Clooney so wonderfully put it.  
  
4:05 pm  
  
As I walked out of my room, my stomach growled, showing how hungry I was. It's understandable, though. I hadn't eaten in four bloody days. Just as I turned the corner, I ran into Elladen (that's his name!). Literally. I fell right on my arse.  
  
"I'm sorry, milady," he apologized. "I wasn't looking where I was going."  
  
"Sorry. Didn't see you. But I thought you were sending someone else for me?"  
  
Elladen looked confused. "I'm sorry?"  
  
"You said after Vanya gave me a dress someone would take me to see your father. You said he wanted to see me."  
  
Elladen chuckled. "Ah. You are thinking of Elladen, my brother. I am his younger twin, Elrohir."  
  
Twins?! Blimey O' Riley's Trousers! This is going to be impossible! Actually, maybe... Elrohir is a bit more butch than his brother.  
  
His voice was more silky and deep and sexy than Elladen's. It made me feel a bit jelliod, but I managed to keep from muttering strange babbling like with my Sex God.   
  
Oh poo. Double poo and merde. I miss him. I miss Robbie and the ace gang. I miss Libby and how she would sing "Winnie bag pool" already. I miss Angus and how he would always pounce on my legs from his cat domain. I even miss Stalag 14 and all my loon teachers and P. Green and Wet Lindsay and Elvis. And I haven't been gone for more than a week! (I think)   
  
I started to get all blubbery when I realized I might never be able to get home. Elrohir put his hand on my shoulder in a sinceriosity way.  
  
"Are you alright, milady?"  
  
I started sobbing harder. "I'm Georgia Nicolson for Christ's sake! Why do you people always call me something other that Georgia??? Even Ginger would work and that's what Libby calls me!!!"  
  
"I am sorry, Georgia. I will not do it again unless you ask me to."  
  
"Bloody hell, don't you get it??? I don't belong here! I belong in Britain with my mum, dad, Libby, and Angus! I'm supposed to be near Mr. & Mrs. Next Door and Mr. & Mrs. Across the Street with their stupid cat Naomi and her and Angus's babies!!! This is all some crazy dream that I can't bloody wake up from!!!"  
  
I started crying and wailing like a big baby. Oh gods, help me. I must like a complete weed, crying in front of some Elvish prince-whatsit. A really good-looking one. With a good-looking twin brother.  
  
For some odd reason, I hugged Elrohir and cried into his blue robe-thing. For the record, he smelled better than Robbie! Like, the forest, mixed with some fresh water, sweat, and his own manly, er, elfly scent. He hugged me back, and whispered something in that odd language Aragorn and all those elves used in the movie.  
  
"What language is that?" I managed to say through all my blubbering.  
  
He laughed and told me it was Elvish. "Quenya to be exact."  
  
"There's more than one kind? Could you teach me?"  
  
6:30 pm  
  
lying around garden with Elrohir  
  
chatting and picking flowers  
  
After my blubbering episode, Elrohir took me to the dining hall where we ate some really odd food they called 'lembas bread' to fill me up. After one bite, I was completely full, which usually never happens. When I told Elrohir and Elladen that my Mutti should keep this in stock at home, since she never feeds me, they both just laughed. Their laugh made me go completely jelliod. I wonder if all elves are as fit as they are? Legolas was. So was Aragorn. But Aragorn wasn't an elf, was he? Then how did he know Elvish and all those Elves before? I'll ask them later.  
  
I met their younger sister, Arwen (or Undomiel as they call her). She had this really pretty shiny necklace on. She said it was called the 'Evenstar' because she's the Evening Star of her people. I asked who their morning star was, they said it was Luthien Tinuviel (A/N: is that how you spell it?), the one elf maiden who gave up her immortality to love a man. She told me the story of how she had married a chap named Beren and when he died, she was succumbed to grief and died of a broken heart. Quite romantic actually. Kind of like that Billy Shakespeare's play. "Robbie, Robbie. Where for art thou Robbie?"  
  
After I ate, I went to see the twins and Arwen's father, Elrond. He was in the movie too. God's pajamas, did he have weird eyebrows! He's like that evil bloke from "The Matrix" with Mr. Big-Nose Reeves. They were always pointy and such. I had to keep from laughing like a loon when they wiggled. I told Elrond where I was from and he asked me how and why I was here in Rivendell.  
  
"I haven't a clue."  
  
"Well, Lady Georgia Nicolson of Britain, I would like to welcome you to my home, Rivendell. You are free to stay here as long as you wish, until you find your way home. I will do everything within my power to help you."  
  
"Thank you." I curtseyed and began to leave, but I stopped and asked if the Fellowship of the Ring had left yet.  
  
Big mistake.  
  
"The Ring? What do you know about the One Ring?" Elrond's voice was really urgent. Maybe he thought I was an evil bloke helping Sauron?  
  
"Didn't that Sauron chap make it?"  
  
"Yes he did, but what fellowship do you speak of, Lady?"  
  
Bloody hell. I wasn't supposed to tell! The Fellowship hasn't gone yet! Frodo probably isn't even here yet! Double poo, merde, and bullocks!  
  
"Wait... what day is it?"  
  
"September 15."  
  
"Has a Hobbit come yet then?"  
  
"Yes. Bilbo Baggins has come. Other than that, I cannot tell you."  
  
Bullocks.  
  
"Oh. Never mind then."  
  
"Is there something you know that you are not telling me?"  
  
Oh, merde. How can I tell him without messing up the whole quest?  
  
"Well, yes. But you see it hasn't happened yet, so I don't know if I can tell you because it might mess everything up."  
  
"I understand. Good day."  
  
"Good day to you as well, milord."  
  
Then I met up with Elrohir and we began to walk through the gardens. I told him about my crap life back home and after he told me about his life here.   
  
"Your life sounds quite interesting, Georgia. All these places to go, things to do... It sounds quite exciting."  
  
"Au contraire, mon ami. My life is extremely crap and boring. If I didn't have my fab friends or my Sex God boyfriend I would surely kill myself. Especially since I have to sit next to Nauseating Pamela Green and her goggly fish eyes. I swear she's lesbian. There is no other way to explain her obsession with me."  
  
"She has an obsession with you? And what's a lesbian?"  
  
Honestly, these people are so dim.  
  
"Well, you see ever since I saved her from the Bummer twins, she's been stalking me with her goggly eyes and showing me pictures of her dumb hamster, Hammy. And a lesbian is a girl that fancies other girls."  
  
"Really?" he asked. They must not have homosexuals in Middle Earth. This sounds like my kind of place.  
  
"Really. But your life is tres tres bon compared to mine. You're a prince for God's sake!"  
  
"This life isn't exactly what you would expect it to be. Banquets, private parties, councils, naming ceremonies, parties, more councils, tutoring lessons from Lord Glorfindel... It's no fun at all."  
  
"It looks much better. Lots of fit guys running around, no Wet Lindsay's or P. Green's, no Bummers's, no Stalag 14's, no Hawkeye's, no Slim's, no Mr. & Mrs. Next Door's or Across the Street's, and no Elvis Atwood's! You can't get any better than that!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The people that make my life even more crap than it is."  
  
We were quiet for a bit, just looking around at the scenery. It was quite pretty actually. I started to get tired and yawned.  
  
"I'm bored," I said.  
  
Elrohir agreed. "There is not much to do around here."  
  
"Then what do you do for fun around here?"  
  
Elrohir smiled mischievously. "Do you want to know?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you absolutely, positively sure?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Are you absolutely, positively, without a doubt--"  
  
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Tell me!"  
  
Elrohir pulled us both up from our spot on the ground. "Follow me."  
  
***  
  
Hmmm... what does Elrohir have planned? Only reviews will keep this going!!! ^_^  
  
~*~REVIEW REPLIES~*~:  
  
*Dreamality*- I feel so loved!!! You're double cool with knobs! ^_^  
  
*Shivvers*- Oh please update your story!!! It's so fabbity-fab-fab! J'adore Georgia Nicolson stories!!! ^_^  
  
*Hott4Orlando*- Thankies for the compliment! Muffins to ya!  
  
*Earwen Colomanel*- Almost answered Bonjour? WOOT! You go girl! Long live Georgia! I love it when people quote the story! ^_^ You rule! Muffins to ya!  
  
~ ! ~ ! Hillary IRENE Wilk,  
  
YOU HAVE NOT EVEN READ THIS STORY YET AND YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID I SHOULD POST!!! IF YOU DON'T READ THIS SOON THEN I'M GOING TO HAVE TO INFLICT MAJOR PAIN ON YOU!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??? (also, I'll never give Jack back! HE'LL BE MINE FOREVER!!! and i'll steal paris!!! MINE MINE MINE-Y MINE MINE!!! MWAHAHAHAAA!!!!)  
  
Your bestest buddy,  
  
Jess ~ ! ~ !  
  
REVIEW!!!! I luv you all!!!  
  
~*~Jess~*~ 


	4. One Prank To Rule Them All

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I AM NOW A MEMBER OF THE FELLOWSHIP  
  
By: Jess  
  
***  
  
Hey All!!! It may seem like Georgia and the twins are getting rather acquainted, but stuff needs to happen before Frodo comes!!!  
  
TO THOSE OF Y'ALL WHO ARE READIN' "CRUSIN' WITH JACK SPARROW": I know I haven't updated in a while and I apologize a million times! (*cue "Sorry 2004"*) I'm just havin' so much bloody fun with this Georgia fic, so pretty please forgive me! An update is on it's way!!! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I'm not Louise Rennison or J.R.R. Tolkien. The closest thing I can be to these people is British... which I am not. (darn it!)  
  
***  
  
7:10 pm  
  
outside of "Glorifindel's" room  
  
"Won't we get into trouble for this?" I asked the Dynamic Duo, AKA Elladen and Elrohir.  
  
"We do this all the time and we never get caught," Elladen assured me.  
  
I laughed a light-hearted happy (ish) laugh. "You remind me of me and Jas."  
  
"Who's Jas?" Elrohir asked.  
  
"My best amiga from home."  
  
"Amiga?" they said at the same time.  
  
Blimey O' Riley's trousers! They sound incredibly Sex God-y when they do that.  
  
"It means friend in Spanish. I'll teach you some if you'll teach me Elvish."  
  
"It's a deal. Now hand me the bowl," Elrohir told me.  
  
I obeyed him and within a few minutes, our prank was all set up. We paused for a moment, admiring our handy-work.  
  
"Looks good," I complimented. "This has got to be the most interesting prank I've ever done! Do you always do this when you have nothing to do?"  
  
"Yes," Elladen said matching his twin's evil grin. "And believe me, when you've been alive for as long as us with nothing to do, you tend to do these sort of things quite often."  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"What's so obvious?" said a voice behind us.  
  
We all turned around to come face to face (not exactly but close enough) with a blond-haired elf who looked about forty in human years. (Oh, bloody hell. Now he sounds like a dog.) He looked suspiciously angry at the Dynamic Duo, but still just as ticked at me. The twins smiled weakly at the elf.  
  
"Mae govannen, Lord Glorfindel!" they said nervously.   
  
Merde! This was Glorfindel? Help me...  
  
"Good day to you as well, Elrohir and Elladen," he replied. Glorfindel looked at me, changing his facial expression from "I'm on a war rampage, run!", to "I'd never harm a fly". That's not a good sign at all. "And you are...?"  
  
I smiled the sweetest, most innocent, angelic look I have ever done. "I'm Georgia."  
  
"It is nice to make you acquaintance, Lady Georgia." Glor- wait... what's his name?- bowed.  
  
I returned it with a curtsey. I swear at this rate of curtseying, I'm going to have teen arthritis in my knees!   
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you as well. The twins were just giving me a tour of Rivendell and I must say it's quite amazing," I said with an edge in my voice, hoping the twins weren't as dim as they seemed and caught on.  
  
Elrohir winked at me as if he understood. Cheers, mate! He then took my arm and said quickly, "Yes, and we've got a lot of ground to cover soon so, if you would excuse us..."  
  
"Namarie, milord," the twins said together followed by an "Au Revior, monsieur!" from yours truly.  
  
Once we turned the corner away from Glory, we ran as fast as our feet could carry us. And let me tell you, it's HARD to run in a dress, especially one as long as the one I had on. Eventually, I got tired and stopped by a tree to rest. The Dynamic Duo stopped as well. When I caught my breath, we all looked at each other and began laughing hysterically.  
  
"That was absolutely fab!" I said.  
  
Elladen nodded. "I can't wait to hear Glorfindel when he sees the--"  
  
"Shhh!" Elrohir shushed him. "He might be listening!"  
  
"How could he? He's well out of hearing distance," I said.  
  
Elrohir laughed his wonderfully sexy laugh. I went into a complete state of jelliodosity. If I had been standing I would have collapsed.  
  
"Georgia, elves have the most keen senses than any other race in Middle Earth."  
  
Maybe I should have read the books. Oh well. I was about to say something had it not been for the deep voice bellowing across the plains (or something like that).  
  
"Elladen! Elrohir!"  
  
Uh oh... trouble.  
  
"Bullocks! Is that Glorfindel????"  
  
The twins nodded in unison. "And that's NOT a good sign," Elladen said.  
  
Elrohir grabbed my arm and yanked me up from my spot as Elladen began to run. "Come on!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's our signal to get OUT of Rivendell," Elladen yelled from in front of us.  
  
"OUT OF RIVENDELL???"  
  
"I'll explain later. Just come on!"  
  
I picked up my pace from a jog to a sprint. Oh, merde. I feel at home already. Maybe Middle Earth wouldn't be so bad after all.  
  
"Hurry up!" Elrohir yelled. I was falling behind quite a bit. I can't help it if Elves are more in shape than me! I began to slow down even more. Bloody hell, how far did we have to run?  
  
"You're going too slow!" Elladen told me.  
  
"Well excuse me, it was YOUR bloody idea to rig that whatsit in his room! NOT MINE!" I yelled back.  
  
Elrohir groaned in annoyance and turned around, coming straight at me. I screamed and started to run the other way, but he was too quick for me. He grabbed me by the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder like St. Nick does with his toys for all the "good little boys and girls".  
  
"Bloody hell, put me down, Elrohir!"  
  
He tightened his grip around me. "You're going too slow, Georgia!!!"  
  
I didn't say anything, since I was getting quite a nice view of his hind quarters. Elves really WERE perfect! (A/N: I know I'd be lookin' there if I was hanging off a hot elf's shoulder.) ERGH... Bloody Horn!   
  
A few curses and a lot of naughty thoughts later, the Dynamic Duo stopped. Elrohir finally put me down.  
  
I took in my surroundings a bit and realized where we were.  
  
"A HORSE STABLE???"  
  
***  
  
How interesting... HORSE-Y RIDING WITH THE DYNAMIC DUO!!! If I was her I'd wanna ride with Elrohir!!! ^_^ REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!  
  
~ * ~ REVIEW REPLIES ~ * ~:  
  
*Dremality*-- Keep dreamin' I always say.... ~_^  
  
*Robin*-- Georgia/LotR/PotC crossover!!! ^_^  
  
*XPUNKROCKGODDESSX*-- Yes you ARE true friend! Luv u!!!!   
  
*Hott4Orlando*-- Thanks 4 the compliments!!! U make me feel special! Elrond's eyebrow's seriously SCARE ME. have you seen "The Matrix: Revolutions"? EYEBROW MANIA!!!  
  
*Autumn*-- When I try to explain it to my non-LotR friends they're all like, 'wtf?', and then once they see it they fall in L-O-V-E with it ('cept my 1 friend Lindsay but she's obsessed wit chick flicks so....)  
  
I luv you!!! Elrohir-flavored cookies for you all!!! ^_^ MWAHAHAAAA!!!   
  
BTW-- If u gruzzlepuffs like Legolas, read Dreamality's story, "Beauty and the Warg"!!!! It's really good!!! ^_^  
  
Kisses,  
  
~*~Jess~*~ 


	5. Stranded with Two HOT Elves

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I AM NOW A MEMBER OF THE FELLOWSHIP  
  
By: Jess  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Dudes, sorry it's taken me so long to update! Busy with my big fat stupid life. In other news, I got "Away Laughing On A Fast Camel" the day it came out in the states, AND read it in a week's time (wooda been shorter but school takes up more time than I thought). I'm gonna start adding phrases from the book. Has anyone else read it? I am absolutely in awe! Louise Rennison has done it AGAIN! She made the greatest book of all time that puts any other books I've read to shame!!! :D If you haven't read it, SHAME ON YOU!!!! (ahem, Hillary...) I bet Dave really IS a good snog... lol. :D  
  
-For those of you who HAVE read it, I have a joke for you... HAHA!! I'M LEGALET!!! :D Gee's dad is truly mad!!!-  
  
-Disclaimer-: I own ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Only an overactive imagination from which this story and many more are born from.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
9:35 PM  
  
right outside of Rivendell  
  
with the maddest elves in Middle Earth (who also happen to be an elf king's sons. how in the name of bloody pantyhose did THAT happen???)  
  
Bloody hell... stupid elves. Stupid pranks. Stupid Rivendell. Stupid Middle Earth. Stupid life.   
  
We've been out here for Baby Jesus KNOWS how long, and we still can't go home! WHY did we have to put the bucket of... whatever it was above Glory's door???  
  
"WHY DID WE HAVE TO PUT THE BUCKET OF CRAP ABOVE GLORFINDEL'S DOOR?" I screamed while we were still riding.  
  
"You agreed to help us though," Elrohir pointed out.  
  
"And YOU'RE the one who thought of it!" I snapped back. "Blimey O' Riley's Trousers, WHY ME?!" I threw my hands to the sky in pure frustrationosity. (which is quite hard to say, which could be a reason for being frustrated)  
  
Elladan had gone to fetch fire wood because apparently he thought we would be spending the night out here. Honestly...  
  
"Ai, Georgia!" Elrohir hissed. "The Valar could hear such a loud screech!"  
  
"Bloody hell, do you think I care? I'm cold, miserable, tired, and in need of a comfy bed!!! I'm only 16 you know!!!" I stood up and threw a rock. I turned to the mad elf with my face getting all red. My nose if probably stretching all across my face, but I could care less. "Why can't we just go back and apologize?" I suggested. "Glorfindel couldn't punish us quite so bad, I mean, you're Elrond's SONS!"  
  
Elrohir just laughed and shook his head. "Being his sons makes the punishment worse for us. We should apparently 'know better' and not always pull such 'foolish antics' as my father calls them." He pulled himself into a sitting position from lying down on the ground. "But don't worry, Georgia. Elladan and I swear we won't tell a soul you helped us."  
  
I was about to yell at him again, but I stopped myself. "What? You won't tell?"  
  
He nodded. "Usually Elladan and myself are the ones who cause mischief here. My father would be enraged if he knew one of his honored guests helped us with humiliating one of the Elf Lords."  
  
I couldn't help but smile at him. That had to have been the nicest thing someone's ever done for me. I'm always the one who has to cover up for the Ace Gang, which gets tiresome after a while. And I never get a "Thank you" either! I covered for Jas that one time she snuck out with Tom, telling her mum and dad she was sleeping over at my house. I even had to fake her voice when they wanted to talk to her!!! It was absolutely awful!   
  
She came to my house around 2 in the morning, which obviously got Vati's knickers in a bunch. He wasn't quite happy when he saw Jas sneaking into my room with love marks all over her neck and wearing a black halter and mini-skirt. He called her mum and dad, and even -I- got into trouble! I ask you, what is more unfair than that?  
  
So, the long and short of my punishment was no phone, no stereo, no nothing for a bloody month!!! All for Jas! And did I get a "Thanks for trying, Gee"? Unless you call "I can't BELIEVE you, Georgia! You weren't suppose to tell your parents! I thought I could trust you!" a thank you.  
  
"Thank you," I said. "That's really sweet of you in an odd sort of way." I sat down next to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.  
  
He smiled at me. "Think nothing of it, milady."  
  
"I'm back!"  
  
I looked over Elrohir's shoulder to see his twin coming back... without firewood.  
  
"Where's the wood?" I asked.  
  
Elladan shrugged. "I thought about what we could do instead of this. I propose we could just go back to Rivendell and tell my father you weren't involved with us. I don't want to risk you getting in trouble with us, Georgia. It would not seem right."  
  
Wow! That's exactly what Elrohir said. Do they do some mad twin thing where one can read the other's mind or something?  
  
11:15 pm  
  
in my bedroom  
  
trying to sleep  
  
Elladan, Elrohir, and I got back in good enough time. Nobody was the wiser. Not even Elrond OR Glory! The twins both bid me goodnight and said they could teach me some Elvish tomorrow. It sounds fun.   
  
11:19 pm  
  
I wonder if anyone has noticed I'm gone at home? Maybe Mutti and Vati have sent out search parties everywhere to look for me. Does the Ace Gang miss me? I'm tres tired. Time to turn in the hatchet. (whatever that means)  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Sorry. that's it. :( Review!!!  
  
Luv,  
  
/-/Jess/-/ 


End file.
